Avni Gupta
Poet from Meerut, Uttar Pradesh, India
Became a writer when my "Silence" started "Screaming"
Their story
A Journey from Silent Soul to Screaming Voice For nineteen years, I lived in a cage of my own world, a silent observer of a life. They tell you that silence is golden, but they never tell you how much it weighs, or how it can become a crushing, deafening force when left to accumulate within the walls of a heart. My journey into writing wasn't a choice... it was a desperate, primal necessity i.e a blueprint of survival for a girl who had spent years enduring pain and suffering in the silence of her own home.
As a B.Tech student, I was conditioned by the rigid world of engineering, equations, and logic. I was taught that every problem has a definitive, calculable solution. Yet, no textbook ever taught me the physics of a breaking heart. They never explained how to calculate the volume of silence, nor did they focus on the volatile chemistry of life and emotions.
I was drowning in a sea of secrets, carrying the massive weight of things I didn't say but never failed to notice. I believed that if I stayed silent enough, the pain would eventually become a dormant part of my life...something I could coexist with, but never have to look at. But silence has a breaking point. The transition from a "Silent Soul" to a "Screaming Voice" did not happen overnight.
It happened in the quiet, agonizing moments of my nineteenth year, in the sudden, jarring realization that I was enough, that I was capable of holding myself together, and that I was capable of overcoming this pain. I didn't write to be heard... I wrote to exist. My write-ups are not "written" in the traditional sense, they have been bled.
They are the raw, fractured results of late nights spent suspended between lines of code and the heavy memories I once tried to bury. I turned to the pen because ink was the only medium strong enough to hold the secrets I had been carrying deep inside my chest. For years, I made a deal with my own pain... I would carry it quietly if it promised not to kill me.
But you cannot engineer a soul to be silent forever. The weight of that silence finally became too much to bear, and I decided to stop fighting my emotions and start embracing them. I chose to consider pain not as something to merely bear, but as a gift to be inherited...a map of the battles I had fought and the scars I had earned.
Writing this book was never part of the plan. It was never intended to be a part of me, but
Works by Avni Gupta
- Talking to my Younger Self
- Distanced by Destiny
- The Beginning of a Love Story
- Depression... "That" Phase of Life
- Mental Health
- Healing
- Secrets... I never wanted to keep
- How I Turned my Pain into Art
- India~ Freedom's Call
- When Luxury Fails to Mend Emotions
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