Lost It All
by Subhajit Sur
Evening—the great sun sets
In the west, painting the sky orange.
The high heavens glow
In brilliant shades of red.
Vagabond birds return home,
Seeking a peaceful sleep
After a whole day of roaming.
So do I.
Tired from work,
I return in search of peace.
My thoughts tear me into pieces.
My soul longs to sleep,
But my body goes after her.
Following my body,
I argue with my soul:
“What is the meaning of being virtuous
If you do not believe in heaven?”
“Then go after your bodily pleasures,”
My soul replies,
“And do not regret them later.”
“Thanks,” I say,
As I buy latex.
Tak-tak-tak,
I walk toward my home.
Knock-knock.
The door seems to call out.
Then a gentle voice comes
From behind it.
My stress slips away.
The door opens,
And the lost youth within me revives.
A warm face catches my eye,
More pleasant than the moon.
A voice asks,
“How was your day?”
My heart overflows.
Her touch upon me
Feels like dew resting on grass.
A simple greeting
Takes away all my tiredness.
I go to shower,
And my soul begins to relax.
I come out,
And now it is time to eat.
The room is warm.
Candles are lit upon the table.
The scent of lavender rises
From the vase behind us.
The sweetness of wine
And the tenderness of meat
Pierce through my heart.
Her charming beauty
Captivates my soul.
I lose all of myself within her.
And I wonder—
Why is she with me?
“Awake, awake!” I hear.
What a strange dream it was,
Yet soothing it felt.
The work upon the table
Had reached the zenith.
Frightened by the workload,
I worked as fast as I could,
But it seemed endless—
Enormous and gigantic,
A mountain to climb and clear.
The dream was better,
But I had no time
To think or enjoy.
A life running like hell—
Who knows when it will end?
I work, I work—
The keyboard runs:
Click-click, clack-clack.
“How annoying!” I shout.
People look at me.
I lower my head
And leave everything behind.
I begin writing my resignation
And walk away.
My brain says,
“Don’t do it.”
But my heart knows
What feels right.
I leave the job,
Feeling relieved.
Days pass
As I live on my savings.
Now I need a job.
I am fresh,
Ready to work again
With renewed energy.
But where is the work?
There is nothing to do.
I am broke.
I want food
Just to live,
But no one is there
To listen to me.
Alas! I lost it all.
My heart shatters.
I try to gather the pieces,
But I fail.
Maybe that dream
Caused me to lose everything.
So now,
Endless dreams will recover
What I once was.
“Let us go
To the silent valley of peace,
Where no one shouts
And endless dreams
Come wandering around.”
With the last of my money,
I buy a rope.
And now,
It is time
To see a new hope.
Published on the Writory Wall.