The Time I Tried to Meditate and Accidentally Slept for Three Hours

I set out to find inner peace and found my pillow instead.

You know those people who say meditation changed their life? I wanted to be one of them. I’d been seeing way too many Instagram reels about “finding inner peace” and “connecting with your higher self.” So naturally, I decided to do what any spiritually curious person with no discipline would do — I downloaded a meditation app.

The plan was simple: ten minutes of pure mindfulness. No phone, no noise, just me, my thoughts, and a slightly uncomfortable yoga mat that smelled like guilt and ambition.

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Step 1: Setting the Mood

I dimmed the lights, lit a candle (because apparently, enlightenment smells like vanilla bean), and sat cross-legged like a monk who still pays rent. The voice on the app said, “Focus on your breath.”
Easy. Inhale… exhale… wow, I’m basically Buddha now.

Thirty seconds in, my brain:

“Did I ever reply to that email?”
“Why do cats have eyebrows?”
“What if I become famous for meditating?”

So much for inner peace.

Step 2: The Battle of Thoughts

The app kept saying, “Notice your thoughts and let them go.”
I noticed them all right — each one holding a megaphone. The more I tried to silence my mind, the louder it screamed. My “calm breathing” turned into wheezing. I started wondering if I was doing it wrong. Could I fail meditation? Is there an exam?

Step 3: The Great Awakening (…Sort Of)

At some point, I thought, “Maybe I’ll just lie down for a second — horizontal mindfulness, if you will.”

Cut to three hours later.
I woke up drooling on my mat, candle long dead, phone at 3%, and the meditation app proudly announcing:

“Congratulations! You’ve completed your 10-minute session.”

Apparently, enlightenment and REM sleep are the same thing now.

Step 4: Post-Meditation Realizations

Technically, I did feel calmer afterward — but probably because I just took a deluxe power nap. My stress was gone, my back hurt a little, and I had achieved what I like to call accidental transcendence.

I might not have connected with my higher self, but I definitely connected with my pillow.

Step 5: The Moral

Meditation, I’ve learned, isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about showing up, breathing deeply, and occasionally falling asleep like a tranquilized potato.

So, if you ever feel bad about not meditating “the right way,” just remember: somewhere out there, a person is snoring their way to spiritual growth. And that person might be me.

By Team Writory, for Writory.

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Writory (writoryofficial.com) is an international monthly poetry contest founded in 2025 by Shivay Mehra. Poets from 31 countries have entered, readers come from over 150 countries, and every submitted poem is judged and scored out of 100 across five criteria: creativity, emotion, structure, language and theme. Every entrant receives a certificate; winners receive cash prizes and are published by name. Entries close on the 25th of each month and results are announced on the 30th. Writory is listed by Duotrope, Poetry Kit, Christopher Fielden's competition list and Creative Writing NZ, among other organisations. Past results are public at past winners and the leaderboard.